Grounded Narratives

A few blog posts ago I alluded to struggles I'd been facing for a few years now. I said that I would address these issues here soon but honestly, I didn't know when would be a good time. So I thought that today is as good a day as any. Last year I was diagnosed with trauma. It had been years in the making, a result of an emotionally abusive relationship and years of challenging events with seemingly no respite in sight. Although I had eventually gotten out of the relationship, I had unconsciously allowed this person's opinions of me become so ingrained in me that I had lost all knowledge of my former self. I lacked self-confidence. I blamed myself for many things that had happened in my life. I was perpetually sad and struggled to find even the smallest things to smile about. I had no motivation to do even those things that I loved. I would take photos and see my smiling face but deep down I knew that was just a front. I was broken, a shell of my former self. Now I'm no...

Before I became a mum, the topic on loving ones body was a no-brainer. I wondered what all the fuss was about because I couldn't understand why anybody wouldn't love their body. My naivete was centered around the fact that I had the body that I wanted. I felt great and got many compliments. Shopping for clothes was easy since I had so much variety to choose from and I didn't have to worry about bits and pieces of me pouring out of my waistband or my top. All this changed when I had my baby. I put on 20 kilograms when I was expecting. I lost the first 10 kilos quite easily (in a week). Then I started putting on weight. I remember reality struck me hard when on one of my post-baby doctor's appointments I found that I had put on a few kilos. I was so shocked because everybody told me that I would lose the pregnancy weight very fast since my baby was a good feeder. Shock on me! I hadn't realized that I was eating quite well and doing little to no exe...