Grounded Narratives

I came across this photo from five years ago when I was expecting my daughter, Elly, and I was suddenly struck by how fast the past five years have gone by. Over the years, I have, like many women, looked at celebrities I follow become mums and "snap back" after a few months and I always wondered how they did it. I know with a personal trainer and a nutritionist it's possible to get back your pre-baby body quite fast. However, in the "real world" not all of us can snap back and look slim and svelte after having a baby. Add to that the slower metabolism caused by an advancement in age and you have an even harder time with the weight. Allow me to preface this by saying that in the past, I was never someone who worried about her weight too much. Pre-baby, I ate whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted and never worried about what impact it had on my body. I liked my body size and even more, the fact that I didn't need to do too much to maintain it. Fast forwa...

Elly has started school! Motherhood is a continuous cycle of change. No sooner have you adjusted to a new routine than you have to drop it and start getting used to something new. My baby started school and I can hardly believe that she is old enough to strike it out on her own. Just this morning when we were leaving the house, she told me she could take herself to school because she is a big girl now (😢😢). When did this happen? Just recently she was so tiny and helpless and now she is so independent! Read my maternity series here For the better part of last year baby girl's most frequently asked question was, "Mummy, when can I go to school?" It didn't help that many of her playmates are of school-going age so during the day she would get so bored waiting for them to come home so that they could play. She didn't cry on her first day. I will probably attribute that to the preparation we did beforehand. I made sure to inform her months in advance that ...

As a new mum, you get a myriad of tips and tricks on how to care for your newborn. Everyone who is anyone seems hellbent on sharing their two cents with you and it can get overwhelming. While I don't remember being told about the stresses of having a baby, I do remember being told that it's not a bed of roses but it does get easier with time and this was the best advice that I was given with regards to motherhood. Photo Credit: 1 This post isn't meant to scare any new or future mothers. I decided to write down 6 ways that I know (because I have tried them and still practice all of them even with my 3 and a half year old) about handling the stresses of new motherhood mostly because people hardly ever talk about how hard motherhood can be. It isn't considered good to talk about it because once you have your child, you should be grateful and happy all.of.the.time. But the reality is that even with this gratitude and joy at having a new life in your world, you stil...

As a first-time mum, I had all these ideals on what motherhood ought to be like. I was determined to be the "perfect" mother; one who got everything right. Things took a different turn and I had to contend with a whole new set of emotions. Mum guilt reared it's ugly head in the very first days when I was unable to breastfeed my newborn because it hurt so much. I felt like the worst mother in the world. As the years progressed, the guilt manifested itself when things didn't go as smoothly as had I imagined. For today's post, I thought I would tell you about those things that I have felt guilty about and also provide you with ways through which I am learning to combat this guilt. Let's get into it. Things I have felt guilty about as a mum & how I learned to cope Using TV as a passtime/distraction. At first I used to feel really guilty about this especially when I needed her to be distracted long enough for me to finish a piece of work, take a showe...

Having a little one means a whole day can pass without you having even a minute to yourself. This happening day in day out can actually lead to burnout. You forget to live, to go out and do things, meet people and have new experiences. The end result is that you become a very cranky, unmotivated human being. When my daughter was younger, I remember feeling so overwhelmed by this thing called motherhood that I became unbearable to be around. I would snap at people just because I hadn't had enough sleep in a long time. I lost my mojo to blog because I felt that I didn't have the time to do it. I stopped keeping in touch with my friends because, who has the time? What I didn't realize then was that I needed to make time for myself other than wait for the time to crop up. Hence, I would ask my sister or mum to watch Elly for a short time just so that I could have a few minutes to do me. As a result I found that I became more cheerful meaning that my relationship with my fa...

Elly at two weeks One of the things that I must confess I never thought about while I was expecting Elly was teaching her how to do things like brushing her teeth, using polite language when speaking to others, sitting down to meals or settling down while we are at Church. When we started our journey, my one focus was to be functional enough to be there for her whenever she needed me, owing to the sleep deprivation that comes with having a newborn. And so, as she began to settle down and sleep more at night than during the day, I was overjoyed and for me that was milestone enough. You can imagine my joy when, as she got older, I'd tell her, "Elly, it's time for bed" and she would come and prepare to sleep and cuddle up in my arms and proceed to fall asleep. Now, especially when I'm not around, she lays in bed with her blanket and stuffed SpongeBob and falls asleep! With time however, it became necessary to teach this young lady how to carry herself...

Baby girl at 17 months Hi guys. Elly is now 17 months old (as of yesterday) and to say that I am amazed at how fast she is learning things is to put it mildly. As she grows, the days have become more and more alike. When she was younger, it was harder to establish a routine but with time we have both come to form a routine. Baby girl at 9 months We wake up at between 6:30 a.m and 7:30 a.m. This time is dictated by what time baby girl wakes up. There are days when she will wake up earlier, I have noticed she is usually hungry and then there are times when she sleeps in and wakes up at about 8 a.m. Once we have given each other kisses and hugs and she has told me a few stories (isn't baby talk the cutest?!), I help her put on her house shoes and sweater/jacket as the house is quite cold. Once she is ready, we go to the sitting room to play/watch The Wendy Williams' Show. Elly uses this time to spread her toys all over and bring me a few of her favourite d...

  Elly turns 7 months this Saturday and I thought what better way to commemorate the passing months than to share with you what I have learnt from being mother to this amazing little girl. 1. Patience. The truth is, as glamorous and easy as our mothers made motherhood look, it is bound to test you. I have learnt to be patient, and this for me is a big accomplishment because I am not a very patient person. Take last night for instance. Elly refused to have her dinner. She cried and cried and would not let me give her just a few spoonfuls of food. Then all she wanted to do was sleep and I knew that would be impossible with an empty stomach, but she was determined. When I finally gave in and took her to bed, it took her another two hours to actually sleep. She would doze a bit then the moment I put her in bed, she wakes up, smile her pretty smile and decide that we should play. Eventually, she did sleep, after a few stern words from her dad. 2.  Don't take anything too...

Hello lovelies! It’s now two months since Elly came into this world and she is adapting so well, so fast. Over the last one month, her eyesight has improved and now whenever I put her down and move around a room, she follows me with her eyes and even turns her head to look for me if I move out of her line of sight. There are times when she starts to cry when she can’t see me. I know it isn’t a very good thing that she is this attached to me because in the event that I will need to leave her at home while running my errands, she will have a difficult time. For instance, some weeks ago I had to go for my post-baby check-up. I had a very early morning appointment so I decided to leave her at home with my mum. The long and short is that I ended up missing her so much. I couldn’t get her out of my mind. And it appears the feeling was mutual because when Elly woke up and I wasn’t the one who picked her up, she was terribly upset. I rushed home soon after I finished at th...

Hello lovelies! On the 11th of this month, my little angel turned one month old. My, how time flies!!! It feels like just the other day that I first laid eyes on her. She is growing up so fast, a fact that screams true to me every day when I am selecting clothes for her to wear. Something that she wore last week will just not fit a week later. In this post I will write a recap of our first month together. I hope this post will be useful to all you new mums out there. Baby When Elly was born, she was 3.5kg, heavy by some people’s standards but when I look at her family tree, it just fits. She has a very healthy appetite and is considerably heavier than she was when she first came home.  Food I feed her solely on breast milk. I’m not a believer of formula although I have been tempted to buy some and take the easier way out. But I have been advised that breastfeeding is a good way to bond with your baby so breast milk it is. Sleep The first night we were...

Hello lovelies! These past nine months have been a roller-coaster ride for me, stylewise. I never in my life imagined how big I would get so it came as a bit of a surprise when my clothes slowly started getting tighter and tighter. But the shopaholic in me took advantage of this to get new clothes. At first I didn't want to buy so many maternity clothes but I quickly realized it had become a necessity. I have two sisters and I was quite happy to partake of some of their clothes for a while. Mum also gave me some things to wear so I ended up buying very few dresses to add to my wardrobe. My Style During The First Trimester As is typical, in my first trimester you could hardly tell I was expecting. What became quite noticeable those first three months is that I started filling out my clothes. My hips and bust became more noticeable, something that makes it slightly harder to keep the fact that you are expecting a secret. I remember my sister laughing at me when I told ...